Be Proactive - the first of the 7 Habits of Highly Effective
People
by Steve
Published on this site: July 6th, 2005 - See
more articles from this month...
The first Covey Habit is to "be proactive".
Now when I first heard this I thought this basically meant
"do stuff". Proactive people to me were people who
simply did things rather than sit and watch, they took the
initiative. So to me this was going to be an easy one, and
being the first I thought it should be. WRONG!
Proactivity here is about choice. It's about taking the initiative
to stop - think - choose. The biggest hurdle for most of us
is realising we have choice. Covey separates what happens
around us from how we react to it. I'll say that again another
way, as it is extremely core to the chapter and the rest of
the book:
Covey separates what happens to us from how we decide to react
to it.
At first this sounds like a nice concept, but will it work
in reality?
Can you believe it, as I try and write this, my son has set
two electronic keyboards to continually play random tunes,
it is so loud I can hardly think! So what is happening? There
is a lot of noise and I am struggling to concentrate. How
am I reacting? I could use my power as a parent to tell him
to stop it 'daddy is working' or even go over and unplug it.
On the other hand I could accept he wants to do something
with me, talk to him about making a time that works for both
of us and ask him to let me finish so we can play together
sooner. Maybe he does not realise the impact of the noise
on my concentration. WOW! - would you believe it, he found
the noise annoying also and has just turned it off himself.
Let's look at this as Covey would. My initial response of
"TURN THAT DOWN!!!" is completely reactive. It's
the second response that Covey would describe as proactive.
I took what was happening around me and chose for myself the
response that best worked for me. Initially I felt I had no
choice, it was so loud and I just wanted it to stop, my initial
reaction was to stop it using whatever I had - in this case
the authority of being the parent. How much better would have
been my second choice?
Proactivity is about accepting that there is always a choice
of how you react to things around you. Ok, I can hear you
"But surely some things are so basic there simply is
no choice". You may not believe me now, but because we
can only see through our own eyes, what we perceive as our
reality, is often not the reality of others.
There is a model called Rational Emotive Therapy (RET). This
is often used where people feel helpless in the face of mounting
odds. It is especially effective where people feel they are
being oppressed by others for no reason. The model has three
steps:
What is the strongest emotion? - Depression, Anger, Fear,
or something else? As a side note it can be handy to identify
that Depression tends to be about the past, Anger about the
present and Fear about the future. This can help guide the
appropriate reaction. What was the trigger for this emotion?
Find what incident was at the start of the emotion. Often
this might be "He said.." or "They decided..".
ie Actions of others. This is identifying the "have done
to me" aspect that Covey uses to identify reactive responses.
Here we are identifying those reactive responses to help us
find proactive ones we can choose from. What are other reasons
or options? Here is where we investigate what might have driven
others to make the choices they did. Let's look at my son's
music example from above. My strongest emotion was Anger.
It was very much in the present. What was the trigger? - My
son creating all the noise. Why? - He wanted me to stop working
and play with him. I now have a good basis to decide how I
am going to respond and be consciously proactive.
To be proactive is then to choose how we respond to what
is happening around us. We need to take the initiative and
not react to only what we see as the reality. Better to stop,
assess and choose the response that best serves us.
Covey also talks about the concept of "Circle of Influence"
and "Circle of Concern". These are the second part
of "being proactive", and I will discuss them in
"Habit 1 - Be Proactive (part b)".
Cheers
Steve After years as a successful consultant I
found myself leading a team. In an effort to move from being
a leader to showing Leadership I am on a journey of discovery.
If you have found yourself in a similar position, join with
me at http://2leadership.com
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