Remember back in grade school when the teacher asked you
to hold hands with a friend on field trips? The idea behind
the buddy system is that it's much harder to get lost if there
are two of you traveling together. When you get into trouble,
your buddy can help you out, or find someone else who can.
Maybe you could use a buddy in your job search. The constant
challenges you encounter while seeking out job opportunities
and going on interviews make job-seeking a difficult road
to travel all alone, and it's easy to get lost. Teaming up
with a job search buddy can give you:
Perspective - A different point of view on your progress
or challenges. Just hearing your problem restated by another
person can give you new insight that will help you find a
solution.
New Ideas - A partner for brainstorming and an extra
pair of eyes and ears to spot opportunities. You can double
the amount of knowledge and experience at your fingertips.
Accountability - Someone other than yourself to whom
you are accountable - who will ask you once a week what you
have done so far, and what's next.
Support - Space to complain or celebrate out loud,
with someone who cares about your progress. If you're facing
a roadblock, grousing about it for a few minutes may be all
you need to get back into action. And having someone to share
your success with can make it much sweeter.
While you could use your spouse, best friend, or a co-worker
to provide this extra help, the individuals closest to you
may not be the best choice. The people in your personal life
will not always be thrilled with how much time you're spending
on looking for work, and your co-workers may tend to sidetrack
you with day-to-day job issues. You may find it more helpful
to find a buddy who can maintain some detachment, but who
also understands the importance of your job search.
You and your buddy can assist each other in reaching your
goals by setting up a regular check-in, where each of you
reports on progress, announces successes, and describes challenges.
The buddy's job is to listen, celebrate, commiserate, and
be a brainstorming partner.
Here's how to make the buddy system work for you in job-seeking:
Set a fixed time to talk. Whether you meet by phone or
in person, set a start and end time for your conversation.
Half an hour is enough; an hour is plenty.
Check in about goals and action steps. Make a brief report
about where you are with your job search and what steps
you have taken since your last meeting. Keep your check-in
brief and to the point, e.g. "I got one interview this
week, and set up two appointments for networking lunches.
I revised my resume to include more of my
past accomplishments, and applied for three new job openings."
Acknowledge your buddy's progress and celebrate his or her
success.
Help each other solve problems. Ask your buddy to first
just listen while you tell him or her what's going on and
clear your emotional reaction to it. Your buddy can say
things like, "Gee, that's tough," or "How
awful!" but should not offer any advice until you are
through. Talk about not only what is happening, but how
it makes you feel. If it sounds like complaining, that probably
means you're doing it right.
You might say something like this: "I've been trying
for two weeks to finish my resume, and there's
just been one emergency after another, and now my mother
wants me to help sell her car, and I'm so frustrated! All
the words I write down just come out wrong, and I don't
think it'll ever come together, and I needed it yesterday,
and I'm so worried that" You get the idea.
Set a time limit of 5 minutes for reporting and clearing.
At the end of that time, ask your buddy to summarize for
you: "I hear how frustrated and worried you are. You
seem to have two problems that need to be solved - finding
the time to work on the resume, and getting
the words to come out right. Are you ready to look at some
solutions?"
Brainstorm possible solutions. Your buddy's job is not
necessarily to hand you the right answer - his or her more
important role is to help you expand your thinking to come
up with some new ideas. Take your problems one at time,
and together with your buddy, make a list of possible solutions.
Don't edit the list as you are brainstorming; include anything
and everything that comes up. You are not allowed to say,
"That won't work," or "I already tried that."
Here are the potential results of a brainstorm on getting
the right words for a resume:
hire a resumewriter
plagiarize my friend's resume
use the thesaurus
ask my cousin the writer to help
do a resume with only pictures
don't use a resume at all
look at sample resumes on the Internet
take a class in how to write a resume
use what I have and stop worrying
have some colleagues review it,
Decide on your next steps. If none of the brainstormed
ideas seem right, look at each one to see if there's something
useful in it. Maybe you can't afford a resume
writer, but you know one you could ask for a word or two
of free advice. Perhaps a class would take too long, but
you could check out a book from the library. Find just one
thing you can do that will get you moving toward a solution.
Regardless of any problems you try to solve during your
session, always end by naming what steps you will take on
your job search before your next meeting. Write these steps
down - both yours and your buddy's - so you can check in
about them next time.
Keep the relationship reciprocal. Make sure each of you
gets an equal amount of time at your meetings. If you end
up spending the whole session on one person's problem, devote
the next session to the other buddy. Keep your buddy in
mind as you make new discoveries and meet new people, and
share any opportunities you uncover. The buddy system works
best when you do for your buddy what you would like your
buddy to do for you.
C.J. Hayden is the author of Get Hired Now! and Get
Clients Now! Since 1992, she has helped thousands of professionals
make a better living doing what they love. C.J. is a Master
Certified Coach who leads workshops internationally - in
person, on the phone, and on the web. Find out more about
C.J. and get a free copy of "How to Find a Job in 28
Days or Less" at http://www.gethirednow.com
