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How to Bargain to Win. And Still be Friends
by Patsi Krakoff
Published on this site: March 29th, 2006 - See
more articles from this month
Without signing up for the Harvard Negotiating Project, how
can you effectively bargain to get what you want?
Let's face it: Each of us negotiates every day. At work, we
discuss additional compensation when we're promoted to a new
position. We plan a vacation or a move. We negotiate with
our spouse over what's for dinner and which TV shows to watch.
We negotiate all sorts of things, big and small, on a daily
basis.
Negotiation is a means of getting what you want from others.
It consists of back-and-forth discussions designed to reach
an agreement with another party anytime you face common and
opposing interests. But sometimes differing interests can
cause the discussion to careen off track into an argument.
Even when you reach a compromised agreement, the relationship
may be harmed.
Positional Bargaining
Most often, when people bargain, they become entrenched in
their positions. They try to reach a compromise that's as
close as possible to their original goal. This means bargaining
in a give-and-take fashion.
The problem with this process, known as "positional bargaining,"
is simple: Once you take a position, you lock yourself into
it. The more you defend it, the more committed you become
to it. Some people try to use soft bargaining, with an emphasis
on preserving the relationship. This works-unless the other
party is a hard bargainer.
An Alternative Process
There's an alternative to hard or soft bargaining: Change
the game entirely. Based on the Harvard Negotiation Project,
this method-described in the book Getting to Yes: Negotiating
Agreement Without Giving In by Roger Fisher, William Ury and
Bruce Patton-is called principled negotiation, or negotiation
on the merits.
Principled negotiation involves finding ways to meet the basic
interests of both people, seeking mutually satisfying options.
Both sides avoid digging in their heels. They separate their
personalities and their egos from the problem at hand. They
deal directly, empathetically and respectfully with each other.
Their goal: to reach a mutually beneficial outcome.
Four Elements to Principled Negotiation
There are four areas to consider in principled negotiation:
- People: Separate the people from the problem.
- Interests: Focus on interests, not positions.
- Options: Generate a variety of possibilities before
deciding what to do.
- Criteria: Insist on a result based on an objective
standard.
The process can be broken down into three phases:
- Analysis
During the analysis stage, you gather information, organize
it and think about it. You must identify the outcome (basic
need or want) you wish to achieve. You'll want to consider
any people problems, partisan perceptions and unclear communications
as you identify others' needs.
- Planning
Deal with the four elements of principled negotiation during
the planning phase as you generate ideas and decide what
to do.
Consider these questions:
- How will you handle people problems?
- Of your interests, which are the most important?
- What are some realistic objectives?
- What are some additional options?
- What criteria will be used in decision making?
- Discussion
During the discussion phase, both parties examine differences
in perception, feelings of frustration and other factors.
Each side should come to understand the other's interests,
which allows you to reach a joint decision without the high
costs of positional bargaining.
With principled negotiation, you'll enjoy the satisfaction
that accompanies getting what you deserve while maintaining
positive relationships during the bargaining process.
Planning: Deal with the four elements of principled
negotiation during the planning phase as you generate ideas
and decide what to do.
Consider these questions:
- How will you handle people problems?
- Of your interests, which are the most important?
- What are some realistic objectives?
- What are some additional options?
- What criteria will be used in decision making?
Patsi Krakoff, Psy. D. writes articles for business
and executive coaches and consultants. She provides articles
on leadership and executive development for sale, and formatted
into customized newsletters. Get Patsi's Secrets of Successful Ezines 7-Step Mini-Course to learn what you need
to know to publish a successful ezine. http://snipurl.com/Ezine_MiniCourse
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